A Salty Engagement: Episode Four

11 09 2009

Episode 4: Things Get Polish

Tom threw his head back maniacally, letting loose a cackle not often heard on this earth, except for in areas that have a heavy bad guy population. He laughed so hard that one of his molars flew out of his head, hitting Paul in the eye.

“Aahhh, my good eye! And right before my wedding! Tom, you shrew!” Paul yelled while eye goo started to run down his face. Sarah saw this and promptly pulled a Telly, throwing up at a very inopportune time. Fortunately, she had several plastic bags at the ready, as this particular group of people seemed to projectile more often than most.

Telly kept her eyes glued to the television set, trying to collect as much information about her dear Eric’s whereabouts. One of the Polish workers – an accomplished surgeon in his native land but here, only a lowly assistant fudgemaker – caught a glimpse of the television screen. He called his fellow subordinates over and pointed at the screen.

“Look at this, everybody. We are to be helping keep this skinny glasses man in a box. We are to be helping him be unhappy.”

“Franz, he looks like he is alway being the unhappy.”

“True, but he is of the most unhappy in this little box. The skinny glasses man should be free. Mr. Tom Arnold, you said nothing of keeping skinny glasses mans in boxes. You are only saying that we make fudge and have a fun summer in the seaside!”

Tom Arnold turned to his fudge brigade. He had trained them well, but not well enough, apparently. “Are you dissenting, Franz?”

“Not of the dissenting, Mr. Tom Arnold, not of the dissenting. Just of the wondering what in the fruitcakes is going on here? This is not a fun summer in the seaside for the skinny glasses man!”

Without a second thought, Tom whipped out a gun and shot Franz in the guts. Once again, Tom crouched down, expecting a crowd to come at him this time not with adoration, but with anger. None came. Lucky for Tom, they were in New Jersey, where there are no cut and dry rules about shooting fudgemakers who you have hired specifically not to give you any lip. The Dirty Jerz welcomed his violent streak with open arms.

Sarah barely blinked, but the rest of the gang – not being from The Garden State – found themselves in a state of shock. “This would never happen in Wisconsin,” said Paul, shaking his head sadly.

“It has happened only twice in California,” Telly admitted. “But I did not approve either time.”

“So, the ball is in your court, Ramos. Once again.”

Telly stared Tom down, like a slug might stare down a salt shaker, if it had eyes that faced the same direction at the same time. “What is it that you want, Arnold? How do I get my life companion back?”

Have no idea what’s going on? Me either, really. Get the whole, on going story here: pruse.wordpress.com

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