That’ll do, Glee.

30 09 2009

Glee is a phenomenon. Much like the plot of the show itself where the whole future of the glee club depends on making people think glee club is cool even though, by definition, it is not, the marketing campaign for Glee seems to be to convince everyone in the world that everyone in the world thinks it’s the coolest thing ever even though, by definition, it is not.

And it’s working.

I like Glee, don’t get me wrong. In a way that many hipsters are familiar with, the more I hear about everyone else liking Glee, the less I like it, unfortunately. And I am definitely no hipster. But I do still like it. Maybe when I first saw it I thought oh, there’s no way everyone in the world will look past all of these clear, character development problems. I’ll look past them, obvs, but not everyone in the world. Glee will get pretty good ratings and pretty good reviews, but everyone will have a problem with the characters, which will probably get improved in the second season, but maybe they won’t. But now, four episodes in, it seems like there are some serious problems with this show that no one seems to have a problem with. I blame it mostly on Twitter, where reading tweets from the Trending Topics section is basically like pouring malt liquor into your cranium – by reading what people write on Twitter, you’d think that no one had ever seen ANY television show before.

Glee is good, but it is not great. And I refuse to believe that I am the only one seeing these problems. I gave it a big ol’ chance and – I repeat – I do enjoy watching this show, but I cannot suspend my disbelief about the following things anymore:

1. That anyone would believe Kurt is straight. This is high school, y’all. There’s no chance in hell that someone who wears leather boots and knee-length cable-knit goes through the day to day without everyone in that school questioning  his sexuality. I would’ve allowed that his dad didn’t know (although, he did, which, props to him) but come on. Mercedes thinks he has a crush on her and wants to date him? Girl, get over it.

2. That a teacher-formed a cappella group would not be laughed off stage. Firstly, I don’t think there would be 5 gentlemen teachers in my high school that would’ve been able to form a functional a cappella. Secondly, if they did, everyone would be there to laugh at them, not WITH them.

3. That these student-teacher relationships are appropriate. Or really, student-everyone relationships. That Finn tells his Spanish teacher that his girlfriend is pregnant? Great. But I’m pretty sure teachers have an obligation to tell someone when there is a question of safety involved (aka, this baby’s safety) or at the very least, try and figure it out a little bit further instead of literally whispering about the situation in front of the whole glee club. He also had students over to his house to practice for Acafellas. Creepy. Inappropes. Then he tells his wife about it and she seeks out Quinn and shows up in her car and Quinn is barely – BARELY – creeped out? Come on.

4. That a man accused of sexually molesting someone would be allowed back into a high school – EVEN if the principal were trying to protect his own reputation. THERE IS NO CHANCE. Once this happened, I kind of stopped believing this show. That is a super serious accusation. Even if unfounded, he wouldn’t be let back in without a lawsuit. It happened on Degrassi. Snake couldn’t come back until he was cleared, fact. And since Degrassi is the most realistic show that I have ever seen in my life, sometimes more realistic than REALITY, than it stands to reason that this should not be happening on Glee.

5. That any school would allow a washed-up, boozed-out adult back into their school. They have the GED for a reason – so that gross, disgusting, hookers who are squatting in houses around town don’t actually come back into schools and interact with students. College, maybe. But not high school. I’m pretty sure our high school wouldn’t let anyone older than 19 be at school with children. Children. For plot? Fine. For life? Get out of my face.

I know that Glee is a subversion of real high school and it’s a satire and all kinds of five-dollar film analysis words. But if it’s going to be crazy, it needs to be totally crazy; having a couple of plot points that make literally no sense doesn’t work when the rest of the plot is supposed to be realistic. Go whole hog, or don’t. Your choice. I also understand that some of the insanity is what makes the show fun. But sometimes, all I can think about is how gross whatever is happening is. I mean, I don’t really want to get skeeved out by this show.

I’m hoping they’ll pull it together, either by becoming more believable, or by going off the deep end completely (because I fully believe this crazy bitch wife might nab a child in the finale). But as is, if they want to be more than just a cultural phenomenon for the huddled masses who also, by the way, like to tweet about misspelled things and whether Brazil loves Demi Levato or not, they need to pay attention to basic, character and plot construction.

Basically, tonight’s episode made me realize I have a lot of problems with Glee. And I don’t understand why more people don’t.

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