Maybe the greatest food discovery known to man

10 11 2009

This will not impress you if you don’t enjoy cream cheese as much as I do.

Are you hungry? Make a bagel and cream cheese.

NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE. I know you think you’re done, but you’re not. You’re close to done, but please, don’t miss this part.

Make a lunchmeat sandwich on top of your bagel and cream cheese. If you are not sure where to start with a sandwich, throw down some ham and American cheese. If you are feeling saucy, you can also add pepperonis to that sandwich, but that’s not a prerequisite in this case.

NO, YOU”RE NOT DONE. Seriously, there is one more step that’s going to take your sandwich sandwich from good to great.

Throw that sandwich squared into the toaster oven for like, 5 minutes. However long it takes to melt your USA Cheese.

NOW YOU ARE DONE.

You have to wait one second for it to cool and then take a bite. It will change your life. It’s like, cream cheese is the new mayonaise, but in a very different sort of way. Your double sammy is going to give you a double whammy in the mouth.

(This is not a great post. But seriously, cream cheese plus sandwich sandwiches have changed my earthly existence.)

————

Question: What college do cows want to go to?

Answer: USCHEESE.

Other acceptable punchlines: The Dairy Force Academy, Anything in the Midwest, Cows Can’t Go To College, They’re Cows.

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