Things I Have Done at Work Today Instead of Working

14 01 2010

Among other things, natch.

1. Eat cereal. Ralph’s brand Apple Cinnamon Toasted Oats. A little more appley than Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, but for two dollars, you can’t really complain.

2. Eat a sandwich that I made. Yellow American cheese, turkey, mayo, lettuce, “classic” white bread. As opposed to New Age white bread. All I can really tell is that “classic” white bread is kind of too big for my sandwich bags. But just barely.

3. Eat a bagel with cream cheese. Also of the Ralph’s variety. The bag does not give a type of bagel outside of “assorted.” But they aren’t assorted, they are all one kind. But there are assorted things on them. The closest I can get is that these are everything bagels. Whatever. They’ll do.

4. Admire the new deodorant I got yesterday. Dove’s [something] and Green Tea scent. It’s the first step that I have taken away from Baby Powder smelling deodorant. On purpose at least. I have several times used other kinds of deodorant by accident. So far, so great. I smell delightful. Although the hand soap in the bathroom smells just like my old deodorant, which makes me wonder if I’m receiving signs that I made a mistake. Doubt it.

5. Creeped around on Facebook. Happy birthday, Chris Hejl.

6. Creeped around on Twitter. Every time I assume Twitter is something that is probably on Stuff White People Like, I take a look at the trending topics and realize that a lot of black teenagers with really creative typing slash spelling habits also like Twitter. Bizarro. “uknowurbreathstink” and “IfUCheatOnMe” are big right now.

7. Tried out about 50 different body positions in my chair to try to figure out what is the most comfortable way to sit. Accidentally fell asleep for a few minutes. Found a winner.

8. Spent about a half hour trying to remember my password to some random bank account I opened in college. Succeeded.

9. Spent another half hour trying to figure out if I can transfer all of the money out of it and close it without going to the bank. Failed.

10. Strategized about my Jersey Shore fantasy team on www.fafarazzi.com . Made a big mistake last week when I didn’t put Ronnie on my team because I assumed that since he clearly got in a fight (big points), but then got arrested, that he would be leaving the show (negative big points). In fact, he was NOT kicked out, and all of those points were wasted. Turns out there’s 2 HOURS OF JERSEY SHORE tonight, so I’m going with The Situation, Ronnie, and Sammi, as they’ll probably at least make out and give me some points.

Also, did some work. I’m great at research and making Word documents, just FYI, employers. Also, employers, please ignore the list above. If you were paying me (or, if anyone was paying me), I would spend considerably less time eating sandwiches and creeping around the internet.

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