Understanding the Dirt Squirrel

28 10 2009

When I was in Chicago last month, a turn of phrase was thrown into conversation maybe 5, 10 times. A minute.

That phrase? “Dirt Squirrel.”

The party of friends I was with refused to tell me what the phrase meant, but a quick look on Urban Dictionary informed me that on some level, I was meant to be offended and on another level, I was meant to take this word, celebrate it, and make it my own. Kind of like the n word I guess, but NOT AT ALL.

According to UrbanDictionary.com:

Dirt Squirrel

1. a female of questionable character

2. a female with a scandalous sexual past
3. a dirty dirty slut

Examples:

‘that fem be a dirt squirrel’
‘that girl is a dirt squirrel for sure!’

As far as I can tell and due to the circumstances in which I heard it (after some friends had spent the summer in upstate New York) I can only assume that this term originated in upstate New York. It is a fantastic term because you can tell what it means without having any idea what it means, really. I’m not sure if a dirt squirrel is a real animal, but part of me hopes so.

Go forth. Use “dirt squirrel.” Have a slutty male friend? Call them the male equivalent of a dirt squirrel, which is a male dirt squirrel. It is multi-faceted, multi-functional, and multi-super-fun-to-hear-in-a-sentence.

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What did the nocturnal rodent say when he was invited to a lame party?

1 09 2009

“Um… possumbly. ”

Today I started a blog.

Did you feel the world change?

Me too.

Mostly, I just want it to be clear that, no matter what happens, everyone knows that I invented the word ‘possumbly.’ So don’t even think about stealing it, you-kids-on-MTV. I mailed it to myself in the mail which, if my knowledge of urban legends that may be true is as strong as I think it is, means that it is copyrighted.

(I didn’t. I don’t even know how much stamps cost. 44 cents? Possumbly.)